Thanksgiving sadness and hopefulness

This is a long post with the upsetting parts at the beginning, happy parts saved for the end.

What an emotional Thanksgiving. Some background. My FIL has just recovered from prostate removal for cancer. While he was recovering, MIL tried to start the lawnmower, injured her shoulder and required surgery. As of Thanksgiving, they are both well on the way to complete recovery.

They have turned over the reins, so to speak, to the kids to have holiday events at their homes, and only Christmas dinner at their place. John "signed up" for this Thanksgiving, but not any of his siblings came. It was John's parents, my parents and us four. Well, I won't go into details about the family squabbles, but we choose to just stay out of all that and focus on our parents. The main thing that makes me mad, and this is the mother lioness in me, my kids feelings are hurt. I can't stand for them to hurt, but I know it's life and we have to hurt sometimes. Today we are all in a much better spirits after talking it out. I just remember the first few years of our marriage when all 8 of his sisters and brothers and their kids would be at the in-laws for everything. People just don't realize what they have, then it starts to fade away, and I just scream inside when they don't fight to keep hold of that something special. It's the same way I feel about friendships I guess. I just can't seem to let things go. I have to fight to hold on, even when it seems hopeless. The last few years I have just dreaded almost every holiday, because of the fractures in the family fabric. At some point you do have to throw in the towel though, and I think John and I have agreed we are now at that point. Time to give up, say "DONE" with that. Move on and truly, truly appreciate what we DO have. That is my Thanksgiving wish for myself, that I really can learn to stop begruding the missing elements for being missing. Stop wasting emotional energy, and stop feeling sorry for myself.

Another sorrow, my cousin Jesse died Wednesday night. He is about a year older than I am. My sister and I had cousin crushes on him! Anyway, as he grew older, with his troubled homelife he turned to drugs and crazy living. He ended up dying of liver disease but did have full blown AIDS the last several years. I will pray for his spirit to find peace.

On with the happiness.... Our dinner turned out very, very good. MIL made pumpkin pie which was very good. My mom brought special jello which was Yummy! She also made some deviled eggs for us which were also good. I have always liked hers the best. Tom brought Colette and Trinity over for some dessert later that evening. We had a really nice time. Trinity is such a hoot! She was playing hide and seek, well, not really, more of a chase thing, and just screaming with laughter nonstop. It really livened up the day. Hence, the hopeful attitude gets reinforced. Jordan was going to read her a book, but got her feelings hurt when Trinity turned one page and then decided that was plenty. We had to explain to Jordan, that is just par for the "two year old" course!

PICTURES:

The gals out on the patio

Mercedes, Annette, Jordan, LaVonne

Francis and John watching some football

Jim sleeping, per his usual and Steve wishing I didn't have a camera

John tossing Trinity up in the air.

Tom, Trinity and Colette

FOOTBALL! The Chiefs won of course.